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Category: Entertainment
Seller: Michael Hill
Requirements: iPhone 2.0 software update
Compatibility: iPhone and iPod touch
File Size: 3.1MB
Version Reviewed: 1.0
Price: $0.99

This is going to be a very easy review for me to write. “Because you’re the Perfect Guy, Kirk?” you ask, “and are therefore an expert on the subject?” No. I still watch Godzilla movies and have mathematically proven that guys shouldn’t have to put the toilet seat down when we’re finished with our business, so I’m far from the “perfect guy.” Rather, it’s because I already reviewed this app when it was Perfect Girl. But Appletell is an equal opportunity reviewer, so here we go.

Here’s an update from my Perfect Girl review:

Perfect [Guy] is so named because [he] tells you the types of things [women] like to hear. That’s it. That’s all this app does. You launch it, you press the "Speak" button (uh oh) and you listen to a [male] voice say wonderful things such as—well, that’s the clincher here. By and large, [some] of the lines are actually funny. I’m serious. Funny. Yes, you get the typical stuff like ["Men suck"] and ["Just take my credit card and have fun.,"] but if it were all that, Perfect [Guy] would be nothing more than a typical, dull Spencer’s Gift novelty. Another stupid show on [Lifetime]. The joke would wear off very, very fast.

Now, I’m a guy, but I’m not wrong when I say this app isn’t as funny as Perfect Girl. My wife and I listened to these after I installed the app on her phone, and although some lines made us laugh out loud, we didn’t laugh nearly as much as we did with Perfect Girl.

The humor with Perfect Guy just doesn’t seem to be as inspired…the jokes are geared more towards the group of women crowded over their margaritas at Applebee’s while their husbands/boyfriends are out golfing, and are therefore more predictable. There are a lot about shopping, cooking, and shopping, and then some more about shopping. What made Perfect Girl work so well was the randomness of it. The most random moments in Perfect Guy are even lifted straight from Perfect Girl ("I’ll wear the space helmet"). Our favorites this time around include:

• “My friends are dumb.”
• “Look at that one, she’s so fat.”
• “You’re right, my mom is a *****.” [Their edit, not mine.]

As my wife said, “Yeah, I think what [Perfect Girl] said was little more clever. The man is more about shopping and romantic comedies, and that’s not so much my thing. Other woman may think it’s funnier than I did.”

Beyond the humor, the drawbacks of Perfect Girl are also carried over here. You can cycle through all of the recorded lines in a matter of a few minutes, it would seem. They’re delivered randomly, so you’ll be hearing some four or five times before you get to anything new. And because so many of these lines are uninspired, you’ll likely be hitting Speak more often before you get to the really funny ones.

Also, the graphics remain very basic:

Again, borrowing from my review of Perfect Girl:

That’s it. That’s literally all you get. Some will be put off by that (it’s like a [men’s] restroom sign at a [laser tag arena]), but I applaud that decision. Putting a photo or an illustration of an actual [man] would’ve killed the illusion, because [he] wouldn’t have been perfect. Maybe [he] would’ve been a blonde, when your perfect [man] is a brunette. Maybe [he] would’ve been American when you prefer [Italian men]. The generic [blue] graphic allows you to use your imagination—which is appropriate, since that’s the only place you’ll ever find the perfect [guy].

And so, there’s room for Perfect Guy to grow. As with Perfect Girl, I’d really like to have the ability to suggest/share lines online. Different voices would be fun, as well. Being able to select the accent would be key the Perfect Guy app, although I imagine that would greatly increase the download size. Perhaps each accent could be sold as a different app.

As it stands right now, though, Perfect Guy is an amusing app that—although it’s not as inspired as its sister app—will work well for its target audience. It’ll be launched to appreciative crowds on those girls’ nights out, making this a worthwhile purchase for those looking for a round of (likely deserved) male bashing.

Follow Kirk Hiner on Twitter.